Fantasy Court

Held: A manager who formally appoints his dog head coach has transferred the zero-point shotgun obligation to the dog. Because a dog cannot drink beer, the canine equivalent is taken under advisement pending supplemental briefing.

Held: A platform’s auto-sub feature is consistent with the essential character of fantasy football so long as the manager himself designates the substitute in advance, and a Commissioner may not withhold it on the ground that his league mates are insufficiently dedicated.

Held: A loser punishment two years overdue is enforced by specific performance and weekly point deductions, not by another extension. A member readmitted on his own promise to complete it may be expelled if he does not.

Held: A Commissioner who solicits the league’s views through a channel he knows no one reads has not given notice, and he may not keep a player he claimed from a ten-year-old on the strength of the silence he engineered. Chris Olave returns to the child.

Held: A manager who knowingly trades Jahmyr Gibbs for nothing, and whose league votes the trade through, has lost Jahmyr Gibbs. The Commissioner may not void the trade after the count, and no draft-pick sanction may be substituted for it.

Held: A Commissioner who neglected to implement a duly adopted kick return scoring rule before Week 1 may not switch it on after the week’s games have ended so as to award eight additional points to his own starting player in his own matchup; the rule shall be applied retroactively to every other team’s Week 1 total and prospectively to all teams from Week 2 onward, but the Commissioner’s own Week 1 score stands under the settings as he left them.

Held: A league member who quits the league and forfeits his stake has no right to reinstatement once the league has reassigned his team, and the league should decline to readmit him. His buy-in should nonetheless be returned so that he holds nothing over the league.

Held: A blind, sight-unseen swap of dynasty draft picks agreed to by handshake is a valid trade and may be processed, however insane it looks once the picks are revealed.

Held: A championship-eligible league member who has failed to complete prior-season punishment obligations owes both the original punishment (trophy construction) and the current season’s loser punishment (Beef Week) regardless of championship outcome. Immediate enforcement through daily point deductions beginning December 26 is appropriate, with prospective 40-point weekly deductions for continued non-compliance in subsequent seasons.

Held: A commissioner must recognize and enforce the transfer of dynasty league draft picks wagered and lost in a golf match between two league members, where the wager occurred between the parties themselves as a personal competition and the consideration remained entirely within the fantasy football system.